I can’t quite believe that we’re now in December. Like, how is this a thing? It only feels like yesterday that I was singing Take That on karaoke in a Grimsby pub last New Year’s Eve. Two words: easily pleased. Anyway, I’d be lying if I said that the last few weeks have been good. In fact, they’ve been bloody shit. Without going into too much detail, one of the closest people to me in my family is poorly in hospital, I finally understand why people say the third year of uni is soul-destroying, and I think it’ll be a long time before I learn to trust again. The last few weeks have been like something out of a bad dream, without the waking up part. But we all have our bad times, don’t we? I know that I will come out of this a stronger person, because I always do, and I know that these feelings won’t last forever. Because they never do.
Here’s some valuable life lessons that I’ve learnt in 2018.
(This is definitely a post that’s more on the personal side, which I usually try to avoid. But it’s hard for me to write in my usual “funny” style atm. Won’t last forever though like I said. xx)
Never waste a second when it comes to spending time with loved ones.
This especially applies to older family members. Living in Sheffield can be difficult sometimes, with regards to not seeing my family as often as I’d like to. But Grimsby is, luckily, only an hour and a half away, so I do try and go back at least a couple of times a month to catch up with everyone. I think it’s so important to spend time with grandparents, even if it’s just sitting and having a cup of tea with them. And now that my Nanna is in hospital, as upset as I am about it, I’m also glad that I’ve spent as much time with her as I have, looking through old photographs, chatting, and just bonding with each other. The precious moments I’ve spent with my Nanna will never leave my memory, and I’ve learnt just how important it is to be there for your older family members. Family = everything.
The only person you can ever really 100% rely on is you.
When I was younger, I used to rely on other people to make me happy. Whether it was friends, boyfriends, you name it – I could never really grasp the concept that me, and me alone, was responsible for my own happiness. I know that I’m definitely not the only person who has been guilty of this – I think it’s a lot more common than we realise. Although I’m still getting to grips with it, and of course there are people who instantly make me feel better and contribute to my good moods, I do believe that self-love and self-care are crucial for your own happiness and wellbeing. When before I would’ve messaged my mum or one of my friends as a means of being cheered up, I now think, “What can I do to make myself feel better?” Then I’ll watch something funny, read an uplifting book, or slap on a face mask. It doesn’t always work instantly, but I think having that independence and responsibility for your own wellbeing is a step in the right direction. Love u and ur funny cheer-up texts tho, Mum.
If they wanted to, they would.
I’m so glad that I’m not the vulnerable 19-year-old who just wanted to be loved and would put up with a whole host of shit purely out of love, or the “idea” of it, anyway. I cannot tell you how glad I am that I’ve grown out of those patterns and become a more independent, confident person with some actual self-worth and respect for myself. But that doesn’t stop me from being the hopeless romantic I am. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t. Since I was little, I’ve had this hope that one day I’ll be “swept off my feet” by the guy of my dreams and blah, blah, blah, we’ll live happily ever after and all will be great in the world and ta-dah fairytales are real and all that jazz. I imagine I’m one of millions of other females who are guilty of this. It’s because of this lifelong belief that one day I will meet my soulmate that I take relationships quite seriously. I cannot stand casual flings any more, and I never enter into anything if I don’t believe it can work. I’m also horrendously picky. So when I meet someone who “ticks all the boxes”, as such, I put my all into it. I’m as loyal as a bloody dog. I’m a selfless, giving, caring girlfriend. But no matter how strongly you feel about someone or how great things are going, sometimes people just aren’t on the same page as you. And as much as you wish that things could one day work out, I’ve found it so helpful to remember simply that if they wanted to text you, ring you, or make any kind of effort with you – if they wanted to, they would. And if they don’t? Remember how amazing you are and move the hell on. One of the most essential life lessons in the world.
Hopefully my next post will be one of my funnier, light-hearted ones. But we all need a bit of reality ‘n wisdom every now and then, don’t we?
Peace out ladz.